gobbledigook.
[ a morbid fascination that borders on obsession. ]
Friday, February 20, 2009
requiem for a dream.
I found out yesterday that some polytechnic courses start on the 14th of April. Which is like 5 days after i ord. Like. Okay never mind. This is getting a bit messy as firstly i've missed the jae which was about a month ago. That would have ensured a direct and easier entry into a course of my choice. But i'm still able to apply now, to the discretion of the institution subject to the availability of courses and using my A level results(O levels for the former if i'm not wrong).Then comes the issue of whether i'm mentally ready to start schooling again. Its been nearly 2 and a half years since i last walked out of the school gates. And to be truthful, 5 days is not a long time. I've got to admit i'm not exactly keen to hit the books so soon. Then again i wasn't ready when i enlisted. I wasn't ready when i went to jc. To sum it all, i'm not ready for anything to be honest, and i never will. But thats a story for another day.
This 2 year thing has virtually eliminated whatever surviving brain cells i have left. I'd like some cool down time, to recollect my thoughts and restrategise my battle plan. And of course, feel free to diss me on this i'd like to slack for a while. Do the things i've always wanted to do and work for a while. I need to save up and need a source to supplement my spendings. I'm a man with needs and wants. Hopefully, i'm ready for school next year.
At the same time i still want to try for NUS or NTU again this year, which the results will only be out around May? And there is the career fair next month which i'll definitely be going to further research on prospective school and jobs. I know this is easier said than done. But i shall try my best to make it work and i must be confident, somehow.
Everybody's talking about the recession now, how bad its affecting employment, salaries and such. And its a tough time to search for a job now. I thought, how bad can it be. How naive and ignorant can i get. Seeing friends who ord last year still jobless. Prices of commodities rising. Companies downsizing and people taking pay cuts. You only see and read it in the papers thinking it won't affect you. But when it unfolds before your eyes, then you see the extent of the damage.
In the papers too they reported that the ones still spending exorbitantly are the youths, while others are cutting costs, which i think is true. I'm culpable and partially guilty of that. I think this part of an ns mentality, knowing that your next month's allowance will always be there. Sort of a job security, in a sense. I've heard of people who blow an entire month's allowance in a weekend of clubbing and drinking, so no surprises on the newspaper report.
Sidetracked a bit there. But i think everything is quite relevant under the 'dream' part. So many things to do, so little time. And if your're wondering why i'm blogging at such an unearthly hour, i'm in the middle of a 4 day mc.
Labels: back to school adiboo, food for thought, serious black
Thursday, December 11, 2008
in retro specs.
The end is nigh, and the finishing line is within sight. Well not quite but with 4 months to go, i'm relishing striking off every day that passes by on the calendar, reminding me that it is soon time to finally leave that forsaken place. I'm rubbing my hands in glee. You can almost see me smirking a mile away.I might have said this like 4 times, so wouldn't kill to make it 5. I think i'm in a quandary. I may have rode on the wheels of folly and apathy while my mind rotted, body decayed and time laid to waste. I've perfected the art of procrastination, skiving and slacking. At the same time devoting my energy to winning eleven and sleeping in every possible manner and positions imaginable. I'm in such a state of inactivity that the inertia is immense. Its like waking from a deep slumber, eager to take a first step. But a step in any direction leads to nowhere without the map and compass. What i need is that map and compass.
My immediate priority is to get my priorities straight. But haven't the slightest idea what my next move is. Whether i would pack my ass off to school and hit the books again, train to be the first Malay PM or run away to Alaska and be a greenpeace activist. Barring the latter two, studying is the obvious choice and things would be much simpler if i were admitted into a local university. Nevertheless i'm keeping my options open to private institutions, foreign universities, polytechnics et al. Not only that, i still need to take into account the tuition fees, living expenses(food, accomodation, transport where applicable) but most importantly: the course/subject major. Choosing a bride is much more easier.
Once again i open this invitation. Feel free to shout out, write a 5,000 word essay or arrange a business lunch to express your two cents worth of opinions or disgusts of my academic dilemma. Any form of response is much appreciated and every word goes a long way in helping me out, i can vouch your for that.
A point to note, this entry is one month in the making, a clear example of my points above. I will try, for the umpteenth time to blog more frequent if my mind is not jumbled and muddled up with all this mambo jumbo. I don't want to grow up :(
Labels: back to school adiboo, food for thought, serious black
Monday, April 14, 2008
out. of. this. body.
I have this weird feeling, that i don't feel what i do. As though i'm detached from my body, where i don't feel happy or sad. Am i really that desensitized?Labels: food for thought
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Let's go see Raoul.
Ok,my results isn't a mean feat but it isn't failure either. Yes i obtained a full certificate and passed everything i am truly grateful and blessed by it. But, it pales in comparison to what those in the upper echelons get. I don't feel happy, neither am i sad. I'm glad that i woke up in time to salvage my spiralling grades in the nick of time but then again, it was the same old story of a bit too late.Mathematics-C Physics-D Chemistry-D General Paper-C6
No prizes guessing them. It wouldn't shoot from OFF from prelims to the other extreme end. Honestly, i was shocked with my GP results. I just scraped through, by the skin of the teeth. Any lower i wouldn't be enjoying the liberty of choice right now.
Now i comprehend the term future hanging on the balance. It is all in my hands. The weight of responsibility. Anybody have any suggestions? Just drop a shoutout.
Oh, and the title has nothing to do with this entry.
Labels: food for thought
Thursday, March 01, 2007
For Whom The Bell Tolls.
I have another post on work but that can wait right now. After the months of avoidance and anticipation, the inevitable looms. Yes, no use denying, no use running. The past has caught up. Time to face the music. I'm worried. I'm worried that i don't feel anything right now. But worried is still a feeling right? Ok, not the best of times to engage in a rethoric debate. The point is-the release of the GCE 'A' levels is tomorrow. I came across this in one episode of House and pardon for its morose nature. The five stages of grief.1.Denial
2.Anger
3.Bargaining
4.Depression
5.Acceptance.
Whatever the outcome is, i hope this might serve as a useful guide. I'm not being optimistic or pessimistic, just receiving it with an open mind and open heart. All the best people. God willing.
Labels: food for thought
I've got soul
But I'm not a soldier
But I'm not a soldier
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