gobbledigook.
[ a morbid fascination that borders on obsession. ]
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
adib's series of unfortunate events.
To tell you the truth, i haven't been enjoying training lately. In fact it has been more of a burden than leisure for me. These holiday trainings have been painful for me, and it ditsresses me that i have achieved nothing other than dirtying myself and tiring myself out. It just baffles me and just beyond any logical explanation that i can deteriorate at such a rate and of such magnitude. I'm not saying that i'm very good or what, but i find it very hard to maintain a certain level of consistency in training and in play.Just now, after training Zul casually said that he wanted to give up soccer, and he just comes for training. I don't know whether he is joking or not, but it set me thinking about myself and soccer. Should i take such an action as well? It seems there are many factors which are inclined and bent towards such a decision. I feel that all my effort and time put into training are in vain and futile. I'm just not getting the results i desire. I'm not making any improvement. I'm just being stagnant and its just the same for me time and time again. I don't feel myself getting fitter nor getting better as a player.
It all started during the second intake trials. That was the time when about half from the first intake team left and had trials to fill in the empty slots left behind. It started out ok, then i started slacking as we weren't training as per normal, especially the time when we targeted Fishy Boy. From there, i felt my performance dropping slowly like missing simple balls and sometimes out of focus. Then the new team came, they are great guys, but they were just different from the former batch. It was a totally different ball game, the feeling too was different. Call me sentimental, but these kind of factors do affect my game. My mind does affect my performance, and these kind of factors do sub-consciously alter my mindset without me realising or able to do anything.
Soon after was tournament, which i feel i wasn't prepared, really wasn't and i feel really fortunate to start in two games which weren't justified by my performances on the pitch. However badly i wanted to play the last game, i knew i just wouldn't play. From there it was all downhill for me. Prior to tournament, my favourite pair of boots(or rather my only pair of boots) disintegrated, self destructed and literally fall to pieces during training. I was flabbergasted, simply horrified. No amount of glue, tape or any bonding agent could piece it back to life. I was very used to it, being tight yet no uncomforatble, extremely weathered yet seasoned and best of all, i loved it. Its absolutely irreplaceable. Honestly, i'm really not used to my new boots. Then during the AC match, i mis-headed a long ball and it hit the bridge of my nose, dragged my specs down and left it in a mangled heap of twisted metal. My new specs didn't really help, although the vision is better but its just ultra sensitive and not comfortable at all. Its like setting your mouse to be extra sensitive and every small move results in a quick and big movement which is straining to my eyes.
During this period right up to now, i'm hampered my various injuries and illnesses which in truth, did substantial damage to my confidence, stamina and ability. There was the Masthan injury when he did a combination of kick and step on my foot as i tried to block his shot. The immediate impact wasn't really felt but the effect was long lasting. There were other persistent niggling injuries which came in succession. Its not that i didn't stretch properly or what, but they just come and come. The aches, bruises, scars and wounds. There was also the recent fever cum flu which i haven't recovered. I've been pushing myself all this while to regain my form and i think my body has taken it toll. I think my body is rebelling against me.
After we had lunch, Din and Dinie were talking about the old(as in first intake team) and they too were saying that the times are different. I couldn't agree more. I think most probably most of the first intakers would also feel the same way. The most unforgetabble moment was the friendly match against YJC. Classic encounter and rivalry right at the very beginning. That was a great match, full of drama and action. We drew first blood when Joshua scored from a header from a corner. There were the twin tower centre backs of Viknesh and Sing and the mini full backs Shahril and me. The midfield was really solid and attack even more potent with Din and Elroy. There was this incident when Kenneth kicked their captain when the latter floored Vic and tempers flared. Deepan played centreback and it was truly an entertaining match.
I'm reminiscenceing too much here. All of these aren't excuses, they are real and they do affect my game. I'm lost and i don't know what to do now. I won't take any drastic actions, and will think this through thoroughly.
I've got soul
But I'm not a soldier
But I'm not a soldier
Adeel
Ahmad
Aisyah
Amin
Cikgu K
Dinie
Eisha
Emel
Evon
Fadilah
Innova Soccer
Juice
Khairiana
Khairul
Maisarah
Michelle
PeiYi
Philmon
Ramizah
Shahira
Sufie
Syafiq
Tracy
Venetia
Yamin
Zaliza
Zawiyah
