gobbledigook.
[ a morbid fascination that borders on obsession. ]
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Written on Wednesday, 22nd February 2006, 12.13 a.m.I think i've (finally?) come to a stage of my life where general insecurities are a commonplace while rule the agenda of my brain. There is a strive for perfection, though knowing that nothing can be perfect, yet still pursuit it with audacity, ceaseless and unflappable. Admittedly, the effort is not quite there, and that explains my precarious position. That is the stark irony. Naturally, i'm full of ambition and ambition itself is just hot air. Taking a peek into my current progress, its a far cry, far too far from my projected grades and anything thats associated with it. It just adds on the mountain that i've yet to scale fully. It looms, it towers. I'm so daunted. The prospect of letting go and fall, fall real hard all the way down is unthinkable. Unimaginable. After all that i've worked for.
At the same time, i'm trailing behind the pack. Its a very discomforting fact. It makes you uneasy to know that your enemies are ahead of you. Lately in school, there has been talks aplenty about waking up from our deep slumber, indirect hints about university education and such. The message hit me straight at the target. I got inspired to say the least, i comprehend the graveness of the situation and have a clear conscience on what to do.
Its further boosted when i bumped into Naz and Ajit at EastChamp Optics on Monday when i went to make a new set of daily contacts. Coincidentally, Naz was making a new pair of glasses(in other words, he's Morpheus now). After a seemingly innocuous and innocent intention to visit the optician, i ended up slacking with them at Causeway Point. I haven't seen them in years, not since the last time i saw that as Ex-BPians. The topics flowed freely, ranging from soccer(what else?), to the cheerleaders from IJ and inevitably to education. It wasn't an eye opener, but nontheless a timely wake up call.
Now, i feel bad about the missed lectures and skipped tutorials. I think the number of classes i skipped this month is more than that of last year. Mr Mah's Thursday maths tutorial were given a miss consecutively for the past three weeks. Chem lectures were occasionally avoided until recently when they began taking attendance. Yes, i admit. I confess. I'm not giving my full potential in school. Homeworks are barely touch on weeknights and the on thing that i am in contact with is my pillow.
Unoffcially, my school term starts now. No more distractions. No more procastinating. The impossible is about to be attempted.
Later.
I've got soul
But I'm not a soldier
But I'm not a soldier
Adeel
Ahmad
Aisyah
Amin
Cikgu K
Dinie
Eisha
Emel
Evon
Fadilah
Innova Soccer
Juice
Khairiana
Khairul
Maisarah
Michelle
PeiYi
Philmon
Ramizah
Shahira
Sufie
Syafiq
Tracy
Venetia
Yamin
Zaliza
Zawiyah
